The Man Date

When our group arrived in Nanjing, I quickly realized that we had little interaction with the natives here. We lived in separate apartments, and our classes were only with other BYU students. We were all having fun together, but I felt like I wasn’t getting the full cultural experience of studying in China.

Naturally, I first turned to sports in search of a solution. I went to play ping pong every afternoon with a group of retired Nanjing residents. They quickly took “Little Myers” (小莫) under their wing and began teaching me how to play.

“You are too tall! Bend down!”

“Don’t be lazy! Move your feet!”

“Stop using your arms! Use your wrist!”

“Kill the ball! Kill it! KILL IT!!!” (compliments of an 80 year-old woman who still
scares me)

I felt like I was at high school basketball practice, just without as much sweat. I had a great time playing ping pong with this group, and I still go play a couple of times every week. Aside from ping pong, I also tried playing basketball and running as a way to interact with natives, but I still felt like there were more opportunities to be had.

After discussing the situation with my roommate Jimmy, we decided to try something “new.” We decided to go finding for Chinese friends. Ok, actually this was not a “new” idea at all. We had spent two years of our lives “finding” Chinese people, and while I do understand we are supposed to move on from our mission experiences (the word “menace” comes to mind), we are still supposed to apply what we learned, right?!

And so our adventures began on a Monday after class. I decided to go “finding” on campus near the athletic fields. I was walking near the track, and I saw a student who looked like he needed a friend studying by himself. Unfortunately, he didn’t need a friend. After a couple of minutes, his girlfriend came over, and we ended up enjoying some Chinese fruit over pleasant conversation. I departed after thanking them for the fruit, and I showed my gratitude by giving them both English names.

My next target was a student sitting in the bleachers next to the basketball court. We ended up talking for almost an hour on topics ranging from why Steve Nash is better than Kobe Bryant (he didn’t buy it) to the Backstreet Boys (his favorite band). When I got up to leave, we made plans to do something that week. He told me that he had just moved to Nanjing and that he was feeling really lonely so he was happy to make new friends. We went out to dinner later than night and we spent the whole time laughing as he told us about his favorite American media. The Backstreet Boys and Titanic topped the list. I told him he had much to learn. :)

Reeves -


That was the beginning of what our apartment has affectionately coined the “man date.” It is pretty much the classic American date, just exchanging American girls for Chinese men. (If that sentence made you feel uncomfortable, I was uncomfortable writing it.) This is normally how it goes. We meet, chat, laugh, and exchange phone numbers. A simple text message including a dinner invitation is then sent or received later that day. We meet at the specified area and the necessary introductions are made. A delicious dinner ensues. After dinner, (if things are going well) ice cream follows. After the consuming of food has concluded for the evening, a peaceful walk amidst the screaming of car horns is enjoyed. Lastly, the evening ends with the exchange of the classic “dead fish” Chinese handshake or the ever popular awkward Chinese hug. We have continued to go “finding” on campus every day and many “man dates” have followed. Don’t judge :)

Our Chinese-speaking Korean friends -


Jia Qi, Leo, and friends -


Our Cantonese friend 谭显胜 -


陈浩 and Michael Ghost -


Even a double date with our friends Jack and Rose. Their favorite movie is Titanic…we couldn’t resist! :) -


We have found this method to be a great solution to interact more with the natives. It is so fun to meet new people every day, and it has also been a great way to improve our language abilities.